6 Months of SPEW

RC

It's been exactly half a year since I released Sad Porn about the End of the World into the wild, which means it's time for some arbitrarily timed reflection.

I decided to put these stories together into a cohesive product in late 2022, when I finished writing "While You Can." It took me over 3 years to do it. A lot of that time was spent on other endeavors—my job, Gundam fanfic, RPG design, being a depressed and disabled goober—but I did it.

And I liked the book I made. I believed in its vision, in its merit. It really came together with dahlin-amgn's character illustrations. The stories in the collection responded to each other and built thematically on one another. It was tight, precisely made: the best product I've ever put out in any medium.

But I didn't think I'd move more than 5-10 copies.

I mean, who was gonna read it? I don't have the soul of a self publishing, social media savvy marketer. I don't have the resources to pay for advertisement. It's just me and a few friends I've made along the way, mostly other smut writers whose TBRs are so long I don't expect them to make time for my work.

I've been proven wrong. 125 copies moved is small potatoes on the scale of writerly success, but it's twenty-five times my anticipated reach.

125 copies moved means my Discord server has over 50 members now. It has become a place where people can seek support with their demons, encourage each other in their creative endeavors, share the fruits of their labors, and enjoy each other's company, every day.

125 copies moved means authors I admire have started reading my stories, which would be incredible even if they didn't care for what I do—but they seem to, and every day I am working to incorporate the knowledge that what I'm doing is just as valid as the works I look up to.

125 copies moved means little red badges on itch.io that shine light on the darkest days of my chronic illness struggles, regular reminders that I am expansive and touching hearts even when I feel my world narrow and my body fails me.

125 copies moved means there are people who own my book and haven't started reading it yet! Whether they're looking forward to it with excitement or not, there are people my words might yet touch, connections not yet made. People who may yet see themselves in my characters, who may yet relate to the struggles and themes of the book, who may yet look up from the page and say, "yes. I will resist a bit."

125 copies moved means I hit the threshold needed to feel justified in registering and launching none.website (which I'll say more about in a proper announcement later).

125 copies means I've done more than my due diligence to my art. I've served my patrons, the mountain and the tripartite divinity of writing. I've seen this project through, to the best of my ability, and I have not fallen short of any of my own goals.

My illness and material circumstances mean that the future of my writing remains somewhat murky. But no matter what else I write in my life, I made Sad Porn about the End of the World, and it's really fucking good.

It's me, if you ever want to find me in the page.

And through its sadness—through its pornness—it is defiantly hopeful, a beacon to me reminding me that my spirit can't be broken.

I hope it can do the same for you.

If you'd like to support my work, please consider:

This benefits not just me but many other amazing artists who really deserve your eyes and money.

Thank you 🦊🙏